A "Postie's Lament" ...

Not just after today ... but it sort of sums up the two weeks since Christmas ...

Dear Saga Holidays,

It's really nice that you're looking after the old people - so many of them obviously are unaware of the internet (ha - ever heard the phrase "silver surfers" ??) - so they obviously need holiday information.  Sending four/five brochures in one pack - yes it was nearly one inch thick (or 2.54cms for the "less old" !) - is an interesting way of passing that information on - especially when here are large numbers of  "Saga-age" people on the postie's walk.  Maybe this is some cunning plan to ensure that - in the future - postmen and postwomen who reach the "age of Saga" will be totally incapable of actually going on holiday, due to muscular damage picked up in previous years ... probably down to having to deliver multiple Saga Holiday brochures ... so you're probably "saving money in advance" ...


Dear BarclayCard,

Nice to know that you're looking out for people just after Christmas - you understand that people may well have overstretched themselves financially ... and a bulky flyer advertising your wares can obviously do no harm (although I suppose you could advertise your %APR on the front - it could save a lot of time between letter box and recycling bin).  However - it's probably a good idea to update your address database - no doubt over the last 12 months you've received many "returns" from Royal Mail that have been endorsed with "Addressee gone away"/"Addressee unknown"/even "Addressee DEAD".  I'd like to think that there is some kind of department in your Leeds office that actually takes note of these endorsements - or maybe I'm being a touch optimistic.  Obviously you are charging obscene interest rates on your credit cards - so a few (?) thousand badly addressed flyers shouldn't make too much difference to your overall profits - especially as you are using one of these DSA companies (for those not "in the know" DSA = Down Stream Access, whereby a private company takes all the profit - but hands over all the mail to Royal Mail to do the "final delivery" - and Royal Mail lose approx 1.2p per item) ...

Dear "Other" Holiday Brochure Companies,

Maybe you too need to look at your mail address databases - yes WE KNOW that sometimes the husband will book the holiday ... and sometimes the wife will book the holiday ... but that's no real excuse to send two thick brochures to the same address - maybe you need a software developer to pick up on such anomalies to ensure that only one brochure is sent to one address - and I think a few trees in Scandinavia would support me on this quest ...

Dear Insurance Companies,

Is it really necessary to send two copies of the same thing to one address ??  One "ordinary" letter and one that requires a signature ??  I feel sorry for the customers who open the one and then have to go down to the Post Office to pick up the other one - that has exactly the same thing inside it.  Never mind the time wasted by the postie - that's what we're paid for (allegedly) ...

Dear Catalogue Companies,

By gum they're thick aren't they - and damned heavy too ... OK not all of them but you know what I mean.  Here's an idea - why not check your order databases ... and if someone HAS NOT ordered something from you in the last 5 years - maybe remove them from your database - once again the Scandinavian forests may well thank you for it ...

I could go on - but I'm cold wet, tired ... and my shoulder hurts ...
.